Have you seen this happen to a woman you know?

She gets very close to success - then turns her attention in another direction.

She has an opportunity to “shine” at a meeting, but turns it over to someone else.

You compliment her on what a great job she did and she gives credit to the team instead.

She has a million-dollar idea, but decides to take the safer route and get a steady job and pursue the idea “later.”

These are examples of “playing not to lose” and it’s often a common ailment of women in business. It’s taking the safe option instead of really going for it.

While part of this may be a result of our culture, we still have choices. And that choice can be to “play to win!”

There are five principles for a “Play to Win” attitude.

1. Be Decisive. In business there are opportunities that are time-sensitive and if you delay in making a choice, you may lose the chance. From ordering lunch to signing contracts to choosing the ideal outfit, you need to learn to trust yourself and make decisions quickly. Start with the menu at lunch tomorrow. Make your choice in less than a minute, then enjoy more time for your lunch and the conversation.

2. Live with a Commitment to Learning. Part of the learning cycle is recognizing and admitting that you don’t know. Be open to asking questions and give up the need to be the ultimate authority. You’ll enjoy a confidence that it’s okay to be you.

3. Learn from Mentors with Experience. Successful people did not achieve their success alone, yet we sometimes think we need to do it all ourselves. Seek out a mentor and absorb their guidance and advice. It doesn’t make you appear less capable by asking for help. It evokes thoughts of “Winner” when you are willing to ask for mentoring.

4. Be Resourceful with Daily Activities. Women are naturally good at multitasking, so we tend to be very efficient. But what that talent does yield sometimes is a lack of focus. So learning to balance the focus and the multitasking is key to the Play to Win attitude.

5. Join a Team of Like-Minded Players. In the famous book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, the power of the Mastermind is emphasized. It is important to align yourself with others who are on the level to which you aspire. So be cautious in your associations with people, organizations and even what you read and watch! Be sure they are on the same winning level.

Learning to Play to Win is a process which can be learned and practiced on a daily basis. Start now to stomp out that “playing not to lose” attitude and start winning!

Copyright 2006 Jeanette Cates

Dr. Jeanette Cates is the mother of three daughters and three granddaughters. She is the co-host of the Womens Power Summit, an event based on the Play to Win Principles. You can learn more about the next event at http://www.WomensPowerSummit.com

Why do some women always have men pursuing them, no matter what their age? I have a friend who is 74 who continually has interesting successful men asking her out. When I grow up, I want to be like her. She has sparkle. She has charm. She is a man magnet.

Recently, I asked a popular man magnet what some of her strategies were for attracting men, and research substantiates many of her points. Here are five secret tips to help you attract the man you want:

* Stand in the middle of the room.

Whenever you go to a party, try standing in the center of the room. (Don’t hunch your shoulders, slouch, or wear a pair of shoes that hurt your feet so much you can’t stand to stand.) Move around a little, talk with people near you, but if you want to be in a position to choose who you want to meet, never sit down. Stand smack dab in the middle of the crowd. When you see someone interesting, move near them–gracefully– and start a conversation.

* Stand at the corners of the bar.

If you are at a bar, pub, or nightclub, staying at the corners of the bar is a good position. It’s easier to meet people there. Bartenders tend to talk to the people at the corners also. The worst place to be seen is hanging out near the wall or sitting at a table or booth with other people. You are more difficult to approach if you are in a huddle with others. Go places with friends, but break away from them periodically and talk to people on your own.

* Look your best.

This may sound too obvious, but you never know where or when you are going to meet someone. Never go out of the house without looking your best. Even if you are headed to the gym or a run around the block, put on some lipstick and comb your hair. Know what colors you look good in, and wear attractive clothes in your best shades. Men are attracted to pink-peach. That color is flattering to most skin tones. People are also attracted to you when you are wearing the color(s) of your eyes. (You have multiple colors in your eyes–choose clothes that include one of those colors.)

* Be aware of your body language.

Body language is everything. Smile a lot, look people in the eyes, and when you see someone you are interested in, tilt your head, drop your eyes, and then look back at him. This may sound contrived, but it helps to know what subliminal messages are being sent by your actions. Apparently, giving your hair a slight flip is also an attraction signal, as well as stroking the inside of your arm or your neck. If a man is standing across the room, this is one way to let him know that you would be interested in talking to him.

* What not to do.

Attractive women know not to: talk about themselves non-stop, fold their arms, chew gum, pick at their nails, jiggle their foot, or crunch ice. All of this behavior suggests anxiety, frustration, or poor manners. Also–don’t talk about your Ex. That is a major turn off.

When you go out and see attractive single men you want to meet, practice the above five secrets. Being a man magnet simply means that you are in control of the outcome of your evening, your week, and your life. Enjoy the adventure!

Visit http://www.tonjaweimer.com or http://www.singlesdatingtips.com for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)
Click above to find out how to order your EBOOK, “How To Attract Men: Secrets Every Woman Should Know”